Editorial Viewpoint
Feathering one’s nest
The Doongerwadi Vulture Recovery Project (Oh no! Not another article on the blessed aviary project!) has hit a major hurdle. The Crow Association of Doongerwadi (CAD) along with the Kite Mandal (KM), the Sparrow Sena (SS) and the Doongerwadi Alliance of Peacocks (DAP) are up in arms (wings actually) claiming preferential treatment is being meted out to vultures.
"We want a level playing field,” stated a press release issued by the Feathers Federation of Malabar Hill (FFMH). Placards outside bunglis also carried signs stating, "No discrimination on account of color, size and species,” "Birds of a feather flock together” and "Nothing official about vultures.” The FFMH threatened to bring a stay on the ambitious multi crore rupee aviary project, terming it "unconstitutional” and "more scam than scheme.” There was also talk of an originating summons to see if the Doongerwadi trust deed permitted the trustees to favor one species over others. The feathered fraternity even hinted at strategically targeting the solar panels with their droppings weakening the deflected rays of the sun falling on the bodies.
The peacocks threatened not to show their plumes the next time health officers from the Bombay Municipal Corporation (BMC) visited the site to see if the decomposing corpses were a public health hazard. The trustees explained that no pallbearers had taken ill or died on account of exposure to the bodies though people fell off the solar panels, suffered fractures, etc.
The Bombay Parsi Punchayet trustees, veterans of numerous court cases and endless mediation sessions, put up a brave front, threatening the FFMH members with "criminal proceedings” and taunted the CAD leader Mr Caw Kagrawala saying "We’ll see you in court, kaalia (blackie).”
But for all their bravado the trustees were worried. With elections less than three years away, a delay or scrapping of the aviary project could cost votes. Plus the FFMH had
Pakshi, head of the SS. "Creepers climb up to the treetops blocking the sunlight. How can our young study without light? No wonder people refer to us as bird brains.”
"Natural fertilizers such as manure are not spread so the branches are weak and can’t support more than one or two nests. It’s alright for sparrows but what about us?” inquired Kagrawala. "The days of a safe nest are over. We don’t have a dedicated watering hole, no bird baths. On account of all this, other birds don’t want to visit Doongerwadi. Our young are unable to find spouses despite having nests. Our population is declining. We are an aging community. Tennessee Williams’ sweet bird of youth has flown away.”
"Some allege you want all the trees to fall so you can say dakhmenashini has failed and move the BPP offices to Doongerwadi,” commented Rangoli Mor, head of the peacock clan. (The BPP’s landlord has filed an eviction suit against the trust and the High Court has expedited the hearings — editors).
"No, no,” the trustees chorused. "We were thinking of building luxury ownership apartments from the sale of which we could construct low cost housing in Ambarnath district,” chuckled a senior trustee. "But those are future plans. Right now we have an election coming up in 2015 and we need the aviary. Legally we are on strong grounds. The trust deed protects the right of vultures but is silent on other animals. You are unauthorized occupants. Still we are prepared to let you stay only on a leave and license basis. For that you will have to provide proof of residency. Do you all hold ration cards, bank accounts, telephone lines, voter ID cards?”
"We have been residing on this property for generations, long before any Parsis set foot in Bombay,” retorted Patang. "There have been no interspecies marriages. We have kept ourselves pure racially, just as you have — though I must add you all don’t look very homogeneous. We have not converted. None of us has
threatened, in a show of solidarity, to stop any chicken being served at the December 2013 World Zoroastrian Congress meet to be held in Bombay. There was also a possibility of livestock joining in the agitation. The trustees feared providing vegetarian fare would be termed "unParsi Irani Zoroastrian.”
Hence a meeting of the Doongerwadi Advisory Committee (DAC) along with FFMH was hastily summoned to help defuse the crisis. The historic meet took place at one of the several idle Doongerwadi bunglis (rumors are they may be used for housing as the number of deaths is declining, people are having the prayers said at agiaries nearer their place of abode and those opting for alternate means of disposal aren’t permitted to utilize the prayer halls — editors).
The day selected was Bahman roz to emphasize the trustees’ concern for animals. Five of the seven trustees reportedly attended with one showing up after the meeting was over and the other having a prior engagement.
The FFMH leaders explained their actions were determined by self-preservation. They spoke about Charles Darwin’s theories on evolution and how only the fittest survive "Aie Darwin kaun? (who is this Darwin)?” one trustee quietly asked of the other. "Koie darvan lagech moovo (some blessed non-Parsi),” replied the other.
"The vultures have not survived, we have,” stated FFMH president Kati Patang (the leader of the kites is the ex officio president of FFMH, the kites being physically larger and stronger). "Yet the vultures get an aviary but we get nothing! Every time a tree falls on account of termites chewing on its roots and trunks, several kites, crows, sparrows and peacocks lose a home. Despite this we don’t even get transit accommodation not even an upgrade on the housing merit rating scheme.” "More scam than scheme,” chorused the FFMH delegates present.
"We are promised more trees but we find not only are new ones not planted, even the trees that remain are not looked after,” exclaimed Nanu gone to reside at the trees around the Chandanwadi or Dadar crematoria.
"When we die our bodies are not cremated or buried. Other scavengers feed on our carcasses. How are we different from you? True, we have not had our navjotes done. True, we don’t wear the sudreh kusti. But then neither do vultures, not to mention women in party clothes. We are not asking for an aviary. We are not asking for veterinary care, supplementary food, vaccinations or vitamins. We are not saying spend 25 crore rupees over 15 years on us. What we are saying is treat us as equals. Let the vulture project come up at the Borivli National Park. When vultures start breeding in the wild again we’ll provide them accommodation at Doongerwadi — provided any trees are left. We’ll even sign an affidavit to that effect.”
The DAC members went into a huddle. "Alright,” said one of the trustees. "We’ll take a leaf from the book of former Bihar chief minister the right honorable Laloo Prasad Yadav. We’ll build the aviaries but we won’t house any vultures there. That way everybody will be happy.” (Yadav built stables, bought fodder but through an oversight did not procure any cattle. He was reelected at the time — editors.)
"We want a level playing field,” stated a press release issued by the Feathers Federation of Malabar Hill (FFMH). Placards outside bunglis also carried signs stating, "No discrimination on account of color, size and species,” "Birds of a feather flock together” and "Nothing official about vultures.” The FFMH threatened to bring a stay on the ambitious multi crore rupee aviary project, terming it "unconstitutional” and "more scam than scheme.” There was also talk of an originating summons to see if the Doongerwadi trust deed permitted the trustees to favor one species over others. The feathered fraternity even hinted at strategically targeting the solar panels with their droppings weakening the deflected rays of the sun falling on the bodies.
The peacocks threatened not to show their plumes the next time health officers from the Bombay Municipal Corporation (BMC) visited the site to see if the decomposing corpses were a public health hazard. The trustees explained that no pallbearers had taken ill or died on account of exposure to the bodies though people fell off the solar panels, suffered fractures, etc.
The Bombay Parsi Punchayet trustees, veterans of numerous court cases and endless mediation sessions, put up a brave front, threatening the FFMH members with "criminal proceedings” and taunted the CAD leader Mr Caw Kagrawala saying "We’ll see you in court, kaalia (blackie).”
But for all their bravado the trustees were worried. With elections less than three years away, a delay or scrapping of the aviary project could cost votes. Plus the FFMH had
Pakshi, head of the SS. "Creepers climb up to the treetops blocking the sunlight. How can our young study without light? No wonder people refer to us as bird brains.”
"Natural fertilizers such as manure are not spread so the branches are weak and can’t support more than one or two nests. It’s alright for sparrows but what about us?” inquired Kagrawala. "The days of a safe nest are over. We don’t have a dedicated watering hole, no bird baths. On account of all this, other birds don’t want to visit Doongerwadi. Our young are unable to find spouses despite having nests. Our population is declining. We are an aging community. Tennessee Williams’ sweet bird of youth has flown away.”
"Some allege you want all the trees to fall so you can say dakhmenashini has failed and move the BPP offices to Doongerwadi,” commented Rangoli Mor, head of the peacock clan. (The BPP’s landlord has filed an eviction suit against the trust and the High Court has expedited the hearings — editors).
"No, no,” the trustees chorused. "We were thinking of building luxury ownership apartments from the sale of which we could construct low cost housing in Ambarnath district,” chuckled a senior trustee. "But those are future plans. Right now we have an election coming up in 2015 and we need the aviary. Legally we are on strong grounds. The trust deed protects the right of vultures but is silent on other animals. You are unauthorized occupants. Still we are prepared to let you stay only on a leave and license basis. For that you will have to provide proof of residency. Do you all hold ration cards, bank accounts, telephone lines, voter ID cards?”
"We have been residing on this property for generations, long before any Parsis set foot in Bombay,” retorted Patang. "There have been no interspecies marriages. We have kept ourselves pure racially, just as you have — though I must add you all don’t look very homogeneous. We have not converted. None of us has
threatened, in a show of solidarity, to stop any chicken being served at the December 2013 World Zoroastrian Congress meet to be held in Bombay. There was also a possibility of livestock joining in the agitation. The trustees feared providing vegetarian fare would be termed "unParsi Irani Zoroastrian.”
Hence a meeting of the Doongerwadi Advisory Committee (DAC) along with FFMH was hastily summoned to help defuse the crisis. The historic meet took place at one of the several idle Doongerwadi bunglis (rumors are they may be used for housing as the number of deaths is declining, people are having the prayers said at agiaries nearer their place of abode and those opting for alternate means of disposal aren’t permitted to utilize the prayer halls — editors).
The day selected was Bahman roz to emphasize the trustees’ concern for animals. Five of the seven trustees reportedly attended with one showing up after the meeting was over and the other having a prior engagement.
The FFMH leaders explained their actions were determined by self-preservation. They spoke about Charles Darwin’s theories on evolution and how only the fittest survive "Aie Darwin kaun? (who is this Darwin)?” one trustee quietly asked of the other. "Koie darvan lagech moovo (some blessed non-Parsi),” replied the other.
"The vultures have not survived, we have,” stated FFMH president Kati Patang (the leader of the kites is the ex officio president of FFMH, the kites being physically larger and stronger). "Yet the vultures get an aviary but we get nothing! Every time a tree falls on account of termites chewing on its roots and trunks, several kites, crows, sparrows and peacocks lose a home. Despite this we don’t even get transit accommodation not even an upgrade on the housing merit rating scheme.” "More scam than scheme,” chorused the FFMH delegates present.
"We are promised more trees but we find not only are new ones not planted, even the trees that remain are not looked after,” exclaimed Nanu gone to reside at the trees around the Chandanwadi or Dadar crematoria.
"When we die our bodies are not cremated or buried. Other scavengers feed on our carcasses. How are we different from you? True, we have not had our navjotes done. True, we don’t wear the sudreh kusti. But then neither do vultures, not to mention women in party clothes. We are not asking for an aviary. We are not asking for veterinary care, supplementary food, vaccinations or vitamins. We are not saying spend 25 crore rupees over 15 years on us. What we are saying is treat us as equals. Let the vulture project come up at the Borivli National Park. When vultures start breeding in the wild again we’ll provide them accommodation at Doongerwadi — provided any trees are left. We’ll even sign an affidavit to that effect.”
The DAC members went into a huddle. "Alright,” said one of the trustees. "We’ll take a leaf from the book of former Bihar chief minister the right honorable Laloo Prasad Yadav. We’ll build the aviaries but we won’t house any vultures there. That way everybody will be happy.” (Yadav built stables, bought fodder but through an oversight did not procure any cattle. He was reelected at the time — editors.)
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