The candid couple

"I tell everyone they should be in a relationship with a Parsi,” declares fashion stylist Prayag Menon who during the 10 years of his same sex relationship with photographer partner Porus Vimadalal has not only acquired the tastes and lifestyle of the Parsi community but also speaks Gujarati fluently although his own mother tongue is Malayalam. His advice is particularly directed to Parsi girls from the fashion industry who declare they don’t want to settle down with a Parsi boy.
"I have an asho farohar, gifted by my mother-in-law, which I wear all the time,” reveals Menon. The newly weds also sport a ring on the third finger of the left hand. Thirty-year-old Vimadalal wears the silver and gold bands traditionally exchanged by Parsi wedded couples, while 28-year-old Menon wears a more ornate ring. When Parsiana met them on August 5, 2016 they had been married for 50 days, their union having been solemnized at the New York City Hall on June 17.
Their wedding was not a planned event. "It happened very organically,” mentions Menon, when during a three-week trip to New York a friend who works for the United Nations suggested they get married in the city where same sex unions are permitted unlike in India where they lack legal sanction. Having long known that they "wanted to get married” they pursued the friend’s advice, adds Vimadalal. They applied for the marriage license on June 16 and after 24 hours they signed as a wedded couple in the presence of a few friends from the industry. As per the laws prevalent in New York, only a single person is required to sign as a witness. To celebrate the union in their homeland they are contemplating on organizing a small reception for 10-15 people followed by Parsi bhonu.

Prayag Menon (left) with Porus Vimadalal: "liked the idea of being together"

Back in Bombay, they realize "it is a challenge to live in a country which doesn’t give equal rights” to same sex partners. "There are certain things you can’t do unless you are ‘family,’ and who’s to decide whether you are family or not…especially after you have been with each other for so long?” enquires Menon. "For seemingly simple things like tax benefits, financial benefits,” they are not considered a couple. For an LIC policy, they can’t nominate each other "because he means nothing to me on paper. It’s appalling,” he regrets.
In 2006 when aviation was booming in India Porus’ father Kurush who was a pilot with Indian Airlines and later Jet Airways recommended the two undertake commercial pilot training from Monarch Air in Texas. He extended financial support to the duo who availed of the offer as they "liked the idea of being together.” The tedious process of giving examinations and getting licenses soon disillusioned them and Porus who was always interested in the creative arts pursued a course in digital photography at The Vancouver Institute of Media Arts to make a vocation in fashion photography. Initially shooting on a digicam, he then progressed to a DSLR (digital single-lens reflex) camera.
Porus has also studied fashion design after junior college having won a partial scholarship at Wigan & Leigh, Bombay. His website mentions that his "notable collaborations in the Indian fashion industry include designer labels Miuniku, Shift by Nimish Shah, Nishka Lulla and campaigns for brands like Indelust and Huemn amongst many others.” Their almost similar looking websites mention they have worked for publications like GQ South Africa, Vogue, Elle, Grazia, Cosmopolitan, and resource sites like Harper’s Bazaar and Marie Claire. Menon, a commerce graduate, began to style shoots by putting together a theme, a certain look, props, details, outfits, etc to highlight notable features in an assignment. Being "completely self-taught… with no formal training in the industry” he sees it "as an outlet for creative exploration.”
"Particular about what work to undertake,” they now work conjointly from their home in which they have invested since 2012. "Ninety percent of the work is done together,” states Porus. "It’s a small, close-knit industry. Once they know you and consider your work good,” clients keep coming back, mention the duo. They describe their work as "more organic, understated; not glamorous.” Most of their assignments last for a single day or a couple of days and on an average they have two or three assignments a week. "We understand each other’s style of work and there is absolutely no conflict when it comes to work,” observes Porus.
Does this mean there are differences on the domestic front although a female, the usual suspect, is not present in this relationship? "Men are equally adept at creating domestic squabbles,” asserts Menon, a self confessed stickler for neatness. While Menon describes Porus as "laid-back, a daydreamer,” Porus maintains, being in the creative field "I like doing things at my own pace. Prayag, a nag, will continuously remind me on what I have to do. Also, Prayag who always has more stories to tell thinks I don’t talk enough…

Models styled by Menon and photographed by Vimadalal

"Fortunately we are in an industry which is very supportive of us,” appreciates Porus. "We have a circle of friends who understand,” he adds. Referring to the well-known Parsi figures in the fashion industry, they named fashion stylist and costume designer Anaita Shroff Adajania and senior photographer Farrokh Chothia whom they respect for being "so amazing, so humble and so helpful towards everyone.” Menon feels he unconsciously "attracts Parsis,” and when he sought a confirmation from his partner, Porus reaffirmed, "He is like a magnet for Parsis.”
Porus’ family, including Kurush who succumbed to cancer six years ago, mother Ferzin, a homemaker, and younger sister Monaz, a pilot with Spice Jet, accepted Menon within their fold years ago but Menon’s parents have yet not reconciled themselves to their only child’s sexual preference. "It was never an issue” for the Vimadalal family who always introduced Menon to relatives and friends as "Porus’ partner.” They realize that "it’s how you say it” that elicits a response and feel secure that "we have never had to seek approval.” Porus’ grandfather Ervad Dinshah Vimadalal was a panthaky at Baroda’s Fatehgunj agiary and being musically inclined used to play Indian instruments like the sitar and harmonium on All India Radio, we learn.
"I was an Army kid who had never eaten Parsi food before I met Porus,” states Menon who now relishes the mainly Parsi fare prepared at home. Having picked up many tips from his mother-in-law and being well acquainted with recipe books by Katy Dalal and Bhicoo Manekshaw, he can now confidently instruct their cook. Menon appeared to be more attuned with Parsi norms and news as compared to Vimadalal who said that having grown up in the Indian Airlines housing complex at Santa Cruz he always had more cosmopolitan friends.
"Fascinated and intrigued by history and the philosophy of the religion,” Menon has read up considerably on the Zoroastrian community and is knowledgeable on past and current affairs. "I also do it because of my love for him,” Menon declares. Having learnt of the 18% decline in community numbers in India over the last decade, he shared this news with his Parsi friends and earned a rejoinder from a lady, "You took away one of our guys!”
When asked regarding plans to expand their family, they aver that they will definitely raise one child although they have not worked out the logistics and realize it is "too much of a responsibility.” They are contemplating migration for even if India de-criminalizes same sex relationships in the near future, expecting legal sanction for the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) community seems to be "a long way off although our generation is very understanding.”
On controversial issues like disposing the dead, the duo believe each person should decide for himself/herself what is right. Having seen the video on the condition of dakhmas they realize that the original concept of returning the body "to nature and the birds is not happening.” Menon believes that the community should be more inclusive and is disappointed that at funeral ceremonies non-Parsis are not permitted. They feel community members should "use their good mind” and exercise "the freedom of choice.”
Candid in their responses on the domestic and community front, Menon reiterated, "Our intentions are not to hurt anyone’s sentiments or create controversies, but rather to broaden and sensitize mindsets in the current scenario.”