Marriage celebrant

"Beh-roze Bilimoria of Sydney hit the headlines last December by winning the Best Wedding Celebrant in NSW Award for 2005 from over 8,000 entries,” writes sports reporter Kersi Meher-Homji in an e-mail to Parsiana. The Award was presented at a gala dinner organized by the Australian Bridal Industry Association – "a three billion dollar a year industry,” notes Meher-Homji – in Sydney. He describes Bilimoria, known to her close friends as BB, as "a magnetic personality. She is vibrant and vivacious, effusive and effervescent. And she calls a spade exactly that.”

Bilimoria had been runner-up the last three years but hit the jackpot in 2005. What pleases her more than winning the prestigious award, he writes, is that the couples she had married had nominated her. She says, "It means a lot more to me to know that they felt that I made their day happy.”

Bilimoria told Meher-Homji that sometime in 1973, the Australian Government decided to appoint selected and trusted citizens who had a good personality and speaking voice and a good command of the English language and empowered them to perform civil marriages. Two criteria they needed to meet were a clean police record and being active in community work. In short, one can get married in Australia without going to the church. Marriage celebrants have to be registered and appointed by the Government.

"It is more personal than marrying in a registry office. The couple can have a celebrant of their choice and work together with him or her to write their own ceremony and vows, with music or poetry, and the ceremony can be held in a garden, park, hotel, function center or the couple’s home,” Bilimoria explained the workings.

Bilimoria: "every couple is different”

It started off as a challenge. "I went to a wedding in 1973 and was impressed by the civil ceremony, the ambience of the garden and the beautiful celebrant. When I asked her how one goes about becoming a celebrant she discouraged me by saying that one had to be a well-known personality, with a public profile. Although I had been in Australia barely two years, I took this deterrent as a challenge and was determined to take up this profession, just to prove I can do it,” Bilimoria explained her motivation.

Bilimoria applied in 1979 and had to wait until 1995 to get appointed as it was based on demographic requirements. It was a slow start with only seven wedding ceremonies by her in the first three years. "I remember I was so nervous when I married my first couple —they were referred to me by my good friend Farida Irani. Their names were Ian and Kathryn but to me they will always be Adam and Eve!

"My big break came in September 1998 when a local radio station asked me to conduct a ceremony. The full ceremony – written and spoken by me – went live on air for 10 minutes and was broadcast on TV that evening. I never imagined my voice and words would have such an impact on so many people. The radio station was inundated with phone calls and faxes, and that year they hit the number one spot in ratings with this very unusual broadcast. There were 17 calls waiting on my answering machine when I returned home that day. I received so many wedding requests as a result of that free publicity that I gave up my job as a secretary and started as a full-time marriage celebrant in 1999,” Bilimoria reconstructs the turn of events.

Beh-roze and husband Jimmy (a retired master mariner, who helps her in every way with her business) added an extra storey to their home to include a fully-equipped office where she gets to know the couples who come and helps them to write their personalized wedding ceremony.

"I have performed a little over 1,000 weddings but, to me, no two weddings are the same because every couple is different. The positive feedback from my clients is my best reward,” says Bilimoria.

Now 75 percent of her clients come by word of mouth as also her website www.weddingsbybehroze.com.au. Apart from Australians, she has wedded couples from USA, UK, Hong Kong, Holland, Japan, Germany, even one from Finland. They travel long distances to get married in beautiful Sydney with its famous harbor and the Opera House — considered one of the most romantic destinations by couples, writes Meher-Homji.

"If there is some elderly person in the wedding party who doesn’t understand English, I say a few sentences in their language in my ceremonies — I do mostly French and Spanish, but have also incorporated a bit of Greek, Italian and German; but would you believe…. I stumbled when I tried to say a few words once in my own mother-tongue, Gujarati?” admits Bilimoria.

Recalling an embarrassing moment in her early days as a celebrant, Bilimoria recounts how the son of her close friends was getting married for the second time. "I knew his first wife well. At one point during the wedding ceremony, I uttered the first wife’s name instead of the bride’s. I felt awful for this blooper but the bride, who was not only beautiful but also understanding as well as classy, just smiled and hugged me.”

Several funny moments occur during marriages, some unprintable! One occasion she shared was of a recent wedding, when the groom’s mother, a rather large lady, swallowed a fly right at the romantic point where the bride and groom were exchanging their vows! "Pandemonium! Not very funny, but everyone there thought so! I tried hard to control myself as I watched the poor lady go red in the face and start to throw up!”

More emotional than memorable was the occasion when a groom’s 50-year-old sister — who had not spoken a word in all her life — shocked all present by reading out a line at the conclusion of the ceremony. "She said, ‘I ….l..o..v..e you.’ It took her more than a minute to say those three words but it brought the house down. Everyone was in tears of joy, including myself.”

"Such experiences thrill Bilimoria more than winning the coveted award,” writes Meher-Homji. "She concluded with a smile, ‘I’ve got some fame; now I’m awaiting fortune!’”