Marriage mantras

Marriage, one of the most important events in a person’s life, is necessary from the Zoroastrian point of view as many in the community either marry late or not at all. Early marriage is necessary to increase the birth rate of the diminishing community. It is preferable for youngsters to marry within the community so that the offspring are 100% pure Zoroastrians.
Of late it has been observed that many Zoroastrian women, mostly highly educated and working women are marrying outside the community. This is a matter for concern. These days even parents no longer force their children to marry the person of their choosing. Also, women have high expectations which many middle class Zoroastrian men are unable to fulfill such as high income, stable jobs, separate house, beside good looks! The men consider these demands to be nakhras (making a fuss) but are these demands really nakhras, or can they be justified?
Marriage is a life-long bond and many factors have to be considered before tying the knot. Men expect the women to be good looking, homely in nature, well versed in housework, including cooking. These expectations are justified. But the women too have an equal right to ensure that the groom has a stable job and a reasonably high income in order to enjoy a secure life. And in most households the husband is the principal bread earner whose responsibility it is to provide for the running of the house. The wife is supposed to take care of the house, her husband’s and in-laws’ needs, and those of their children when they have them. If she is already working at the time of marriage, she may continue to do so if she can manage a job along with her other responsibilities. Or she could do a part-time job in order to contribute toward the household expenses.
The main thing is that there should be mutual understanding between the couple so that married life runs smoothly even if the income is low. Both men and women should place more importance on the inner beauty (nature) of the life partner rather than physical appearance and other material factors. KAIZAD B. IRANI
Poona