From Grandpa, with love…

He lay helpless in his room at Shanti­mohan Hospital, tubes entering and leaving his body, trying to nourish cells that wished to die. I had to give him an important piece of news before he left us. I had to know how he felt about my decision to adopt a child.

As I told him, the look on his face said it all. I saw a glimmer in his eyes, of the old Jal Bawa, the legendary Nagpur Parsi stage artiste, who had regaled audiences for over 50 years with his performances as the central figure in Parsi plays… till Parkin­son’s took over and damaged his nerves permanently. "You must hang on, Daddy, to bless her.” "Of course, I will!” I then revealed that we had not yet found her, but we would soon hear from the orphanage, and that she may not be of Parsi origin. "So what!” He now sounded annoyed. He blessed her, but could not hang on long enough to see her. He left us in February 2007. His granddaughter Setareh, born in August 2007, landed safely in my arms in November of that very year after her Grandpa had gone. Could he have seen her from above and watched over her till we found her? Does he know now how much she resembles him? Wouldn’t he have loved to play with her!

Jal Satha

In his reaction to my words lies a message for you, dear Setareh. One that I hope you will cherish and live up to all your life. You are the granddaughter of a hugely talented and highly principled Grandpa. He, along with your Grandma, formed a sovereign, secular, socialist, independent republic by themselves. With Grand­pa gone, Granny rose to the occasion and rushed down to Ah­meda­bad to welcome you home with the traditional "egg-breaking” Parsi ritual.

Grandpa, by blessing you, proved that old is not necessarily conservative. Your grandparents proved to be more progressive and liberal than people half their age… young couples I saw at the adoption center who wanted fair, bonny, male kids, of certain stock! With you, it was love at first sight. We did not adopt you because you were/were not of a certain race. We chose you because, very simply, you were the child we always wanted.

Kermaan Satha Munshi with daughter Setareh;

If Grandpa were alive today, he would, like Granny, have lovingly held you close to him and enjoyed your innocence. He would have reassured you that you are perfect as you are… that nothing needs to change. What needs to change, he would have told you firmly, is a certain mentality, a culture that excludes others on grounds of caste and color. But constitutions, he would have told you, are relatively easy to amend; mindsets are not.

If Grandpa were alive today, he would, like Granny, have taught you to reach out to all those who have been deprived of a good education and their basic human rights. When I wished to sack the sweeper who was a kleptomaniac, he reminded me of where the woman lived — in a cowshed! What else can she do? "You be vigilant. But if you can’t better her lot, at least do not take her means of livelihood away from her.”

If Grandpa were alive today, you would have seen a living example of a man who always had the courage of his convictions. And it requires courage, my little one, to tell a stubborn public that you shall perform the acts you believe in, not the ones they want you to play out for them!

If Grandpa were alive today, he would have surely taught you the art of theater! But he would also have taught you to be true to yourself and to the ones closest to you, to never forget to express gratitude for acts of kindness, and to dismiss outright any feelings of bitterness that you may harbor against those who have wronged you. He would have told you, "if the debate is not of a certain level, do not participate.” And he would have taught you to say a lot in very few words, without raising your voice.

If Grandpa were alive today, he would have gently rebuked you for pining for those who remain blind to your qualities of head and heart — limited minds of limited worlds. He would have counseled you to reach out instead to those who have the larger vision to see your inner beauty, those who need and appreciate your presence. He would have encouraged you to go out beyond the world you live in, into one that is dappled, multi-hued, inclusive, complete, whole, perfect in its imperfections.

If Grandpa were alive today, he would have accompanied Granny to your school on Grandparents’ day, spoken to your teachers, and told them proudly, "She is a bright child, my granddaughter. Please take good care of her. Help her out with her 3 ‘R’s, but above all, please, please, never break her spirit.” For his sister’s spirit had been rudely broken by the headmistress of a school who unfairly refused to allow her to appear for her Cambridge examination.

If Grandpa were alive, he would have told you to love and respect Granny who loves you with all her heart and personifies all that is honest and clean and good in this world.

If Grandpa were alive, he would have sung to you his favorite song, in his inimitable style: "Oh me, oh my, ain’t that perfection! Just cast an eye in her direction! …Now I ask you very confidentially, ain’t she sweet!”

If Grandpa were alive, he would have certainly thanked YOU for adopting US. We are truly blessed.