Daughters save the day

Over the last few months I started writing several times to Parsiana only to give up half way, telling myself it would do no good. However while going through the magazine once again and reading certain letters I told myself that unless one makes oneself heard nothing can ever be accomplished.

Conversion is not a subject I shall deal with. I leave that to more knowledgeable individuals. I speak only from a practical point of view and what I see happening around me.

Who can deny the fact that our children are rapidly settling abroad? You have to be wearing blinkers if you don’t see them getting married to those outside our community. These are facts we have to accept. I know children of Parsi fathers and non-Parsi mothers who do not say our prayers despite having the navjote performed, nor follow our religion in any way. Their habits, their mannerism, likes and dislikes, food habits, all tend towards the mother and her community. No Sunday dhansak for them! In fact I know a few who do not even want to acknowledge the fact that they have a Parsi father — perhaps from snobbish remarks made to their mother by the father’s relatives? On the other hand, I know children of Parsi mothers who say our prayers and behave exactly like us even without having gone through the navjote ceremony. With a few exceptions, you will agree that it is always a mother who influences a child as far as religion goes.

It is our daughters who will be able to save the day. So what are we doing about it? Shunting them out? One of these days the same children will turn around and say we don’t want to be part of a community that does not want us. Other religions and communities will welcome them with open arms. Is that what you want?

For goodness sake, wake up! Arranging socials for our youngsters, though a well thought out plan, is like a drop in the ocean. Please do not turn around and say: "This is what our forefathers said and we prospered.” I think our ancestors had more sense than we do. They saw the need of the moment. Surely our forefathers who landed in India gave up a great deal of what they considered close to their hearts as long as they could follow their religion. Why? Because it was the need of the moment to ensure sheer survival. Over the years, you cannot deny, we too have changed — our language, our attire, our thinking. We needed to. Children are given far more freedom, our rapport with our children is so different to what we knew with our parents — and why? Because we needed to change, whether we liked it or not. Those of my age may even recall a time when it was looked down upon when a Parsi girl wore a salwar kameez! Today she attends funeral ceremonies dressed in this attire.

Stubbornness, I know, is a trait of Parsis but for once kick this habit, forget your prejudices, think and see for yourself what is happening and give a free hand to our daughters to preserve our community by bringing their children into our faith without any hassle.

According to the census figures we are already going downhill, so for goodness sake do something before it is too late.

MEHROO S. KHAREGAT

meherbai36@hotmail.com