Dil sé

On November 19, SAB TV aired a program Kuch Dil Se (from the heart) on Parsis and our problems of dwindling numbers, interfaith marriages, etc anchored by Smriti Zubin Irani (Tulsi, of the teleserial Kyu Ki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi fame). The four-member discussion panel comprised Adil Nargol-wala and his Tibetan wife, Ava Khullar and Y. Kapadia, all from Delhi. Since I have always professed to the theory of no bias between a Parsi male and a Parsi female, the program as such conformed to my views.

But, what caught my undivided attention was a statement made by Adil. He said, "You see I don’t care whether my children are Buddhists, Hindus or whatever. Today they are Zoroastrians thanks to my wife. It’s because of her that two more Zoroastrians have been added to our total...”

How can a Parsi male say ‘I don’t care.’ If you, whose children are accepted as Parsis wholeheartedly don’t care then we are fighting a losing battle. On the flip side the Parsi female who wishes to bring her children into the Zoroastrian fold is debarred by our param­paraa thi chaaltu aavélu (an ancient tradition) dictat! Is this fair?

I have seen this happening to so many of our men. They don’t insist that their offspring be Zoroastrians. When you have the will to marry outside the community, surely they should see to it that at least their children remain in the fold? Statements like, the mother molds and influences a child while the father works and is out most of the time are excuses! We Parsis accept that the influence of the mother is most important but don’t allow Parsi women married outside the community to allow their progeny in our fold! What irony!

It is time our men’s mindset is changed. This disinterest and couldn’t- care-less attitude must be brought back on track dil sé (from the heart). Remember half bawas are most welcome for the ‘more the merrier.’

RODA D. HAKIM

Baroda