Enterprising matchmaker

"Matchmaker, matchmaker find me a match.” Yes, the catchy song from the film Fiddler on the Roof, and the vision it conjures is of a cackling, old hag in black. Quite the opposite of the slim, svelte, attractive and articulate 35-year-old Firoza Dalal who runs the matchmaking bureau, Rose Matri­monials, from her home in the posh Breach Candy area of Bombay.

"I had a successful job as officer, corporate affairs with Essar but after my third baby was born, I found it difficult to cope with the demands on my time. My husband also preferred that I do something from the house. Friends jokingly said I would make a good kaaj-vali (matchmaker) and the idea just clicked,” laughed Dalal. "I know from my own experience that all marriages are not made in heaven. Most need a little down-to-earth help to get started!”

One-year-old Rose Matrimonials was launched on February 17, 2002. Justifying the name, Dalal philosophized: "A rose is delicate, it’s fragrant, it is beautiful. But it is not without thorns. A marriage is the same. It is something beautiful and precious but it needs nurturing. No marriage is without its thorny problems. One needs to work out the differences and problems and get to the essence of the rose.”

Since its inception Rose Matrimonials has built up a data base of over 500 names. Many matches have been fixed, three of which have already resulted in marriage, said Dalal with proprietary pride. Her clients range in age from 25 to 65 and their requirements range from the ridiculous to the sublime.

Dalal (above), and Dinaz and Rohinton Homavazir who met through Rose Matrimonials

"The expectations of the girls are much higher,” said Dalal. "They seem to want the moon. The man must be highly educated, he must be earning well, have a nice home, come from a good family, but no nagging mother, simpering sister or other interfering in-laws should live with them! The older and more educated the girls are, the more choosy they become,” commented Dalal. "Generally the boys are more flexible and accommodating. Comely looks and compatibility are their main requirements.” One surprising observation Dalal came up with was that a large number of boys are very orthodox. In this day and age they want girls to follow tarikat.

One of the main qualities of a successful matchmaker, according to Dalal, is discretion. "No one is over keen to have it known that they have come to a matchmaker. Very often, anxious mothers come to me surreptitiously, not wanting to let their offspring know, till a few suitable choices have been identified. As far as I am concerned, ‘mum’ is the word,” she said.

Dalal charges Rs 500 as registration. This has to be submitted along with two photographs and the client’s bio data. They can then go through the files to find like-minded spouses. Dalal makes her suggestions but leaves the ultimate decision to the client. Bouquets and brickbats have both come her way in this profession but she takes it all in her stride. The one thing that annoys her is people who are outraged that she charges for her services. "They say, this should be done as a social service. While I am always ready to forego the fee for a client who cannot afford it, I see no reason why those who will spend lakhs on the wedding festivities, expect free social service for setting the ball rolling!”

She does not find her age a hindrance to her career. "On the contrary, younger men and women find me less intimidating and more approachable. They feel they are talking to a friend and that their problems and aspirations will be better understood.”

Rose Matrimonials has so far confined itself to matchmaking within the community but spurred by the popularity of the project, Dalal is toying with the idea of taking on non-Parsi clients too. "I would definitely not encourage Parsi boys or girls to marry out of the religion. I believe strongly that the best marriages are within compatible community groups. If I do start with people from other communities, I would keep the data base and files separate,” she said.

Dilnavaz E. Bhagwagar