Fitness and fortitude

"At times it is impossible to see and understand why we are being put through something, but when we look back we usually find that what has really shaped us are the toughest of times… What breaks your heart will clear your vision,” writes Nawaz Modi Singhania, founder of Body Art, Bombay’s well-known chain of fitness centers, in her book Pause, Rewind that saw multiple releases and readings at lit fests in the last quarter of 2023. Around the same time, upheavals in her marital life with Gautam Singhania, chairman and managing director of Raymond Ltd, came in the public eye.

Having encountered turbulence at different times in her personal life — separation of parents when she was 10 years old, fallout between her father and younger brother, father and mother suffering from cancer, alleged assault by her husband — Nawaz has realized, "With every storm, the truth of a situation is revealed, about people, things, intentions, character. In times of tragedy, you see opportunities you may have never had if circumstances had not manifested that way.” In a candid interview with Parsiana at her father, senior counsel Nadir Modi’s residence where she has been residing with her two daughters since the separation from her husband in September, Nawaz chose to pause but briefly on the current imbroglio, preferring to rewind at length on her book and personal experiences that have strengthened her body and mind to face all adversities.

The 150-page book that offers "Natural Anti-Ageing Techniques” earned a "national best seller tag very quickly,” mentiond Nawaz. Considering that Gautam features three times in the first paragraph of her Introduction where she relates an incident during his teenage years, does she now feel uncomfortable with the text flow? "I’m never uncomfortable,” asserted Nawaz, explaining, "You can’t feel awkward about anyone else’s thoughts, words or actions regardless of how closely related you are; only your own.” In one’s own thinking, she advocated vigilance: "We are very careless about our thoughts, aren’t we? We don’t guard that gate. We let anything come into our mind and that’s horrific.” As a Parsi she believes the three cardinal tenets of humata, hukhta, hvrashta (good thoughts, words and deeds) that "are of prime importance are not somebody else’s but our own. Just live by these. Be the change you want to see.”

Her daughters not being initiated into the Zoroastrian faith "is a regret I will live with,” she admitted. "I really wanted to (get them navjoted). My husband really didn’t want to. I let that go, knowing that when a Parsi female marries out her children are not welcome.”

The 53-year-old feisty fighter feels blessed that in her life "the silver lining has always been much, much thicker than any cloud.” She also appreciates that with their legal heritage, members of her Modi family have been "frontline warriors.” Even though she never intended to practice law, she is very glad that she completed her law graduation. The study of law "helps you to think critically in every arena of your life, how to put yourself together, how to walk out of any difficult situation, how to cope with challenges and demands.”

When Nawaz was made a director of Raymond Ltd, Raymond Consumer Care Ltd, Smart Advisory and Finserve Pvt Ltd and JK Investors Ltd, she mentioned that her father "didn’t like it at all. He always said, ‘Keep all your papers, you may need them…’ He gave me books and books, including Shackleton on the Law and Practice of Meetings, to understand my role, responsibilities and duties as a director. With his experience and intelligence he has taught me a lot. His legal knowledge is beyond invaluable. He is the most supportive and outstanding father. It has been the greatest honor and privilege to have him in my life. I must have done something good at some point to deserve him,” the doting daughter was all praise for her 93-year-old dad who was always wary of Gautam.

An amusing raconteur, Nawaz vividly described the scenario when her father-in-law Vijaypat Singhania came to her father’s house to ask for Nawaz’s hand in marriage. To show the Marwari industrialist that he was not welcome, Nadir had arranged for two stools near the entrance separated by a coffee table stacked with law journals. Nadir wanted to prove his legal point that a Hindu marriage can only happen between two Hindus and since his daughter was not a Hindu, this marriage could not take place. Vijaypat on the other hand tried to convince him that the Hindu ceremony and rites were only a matter of family parampara and traditions and not for any legal reasons. Nawaz gave "full credit to my father-in-law for handling my father with kid gloves” to earn his consent for a civil marriage. After nine years of courtship, she and Gautam wed in 1999 under the Special Marriage Act that governs partners of different faiths.

Above: Modi Singhania;

top: book cover and logo of her fitness center

Over the years, her father has never wanted to have anything to do with Gautam. "The maximum exchange is a 10-second birthday greeting once a year,” revealed Nawaz. She mentioned how the newly married couple tried to invite Nadir over for dinner and his repeated curt reply would be, "No, but for what?”

The doors for Nawaz though were always open. When she took refuge in her father’s home at different points, including for 40 days soon after her honeymoon following an altercation with Gautam, "He didn’t ask a single question. He’s just so happy I’m here, behaving as if everything is normal, like I’m not married only. That has been his stance over the years.” Her bedroom at her father’s residence has remained the same as when she left it, she acknowledged her father’s unstinting support and repeated one of his favorite lines from the poet John Milton, "They also serve who only stand and wait.”

In the early days of marriage Nawaz would reassure her father that his paternal concern for her future was unwarranted. She had him on one side for support and Gautam on the other. Nadir though would caution, ‘Futures have a way of falling down at midnight.’ I have also heard, ‘Futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.’ Both sound great!” she observed cynically. Choosing currently "not to tell him too much… He does not even want to know too much,” she has noticed that while "he is delighted we are here, he is concerned about his daughter and granddaughters, constantly telling me ‘I want you to have more finances.’ He feels I shouldn’t even have a smidgen of ‘how can I compete against his (Gautam’s) money power [net worth said to be valued at $ 1.4 bn (Rs 11,673 crore)]?’… It’s not his but the company’s.”

On the legal front, currently her elder brother Peshotan is "managing all things for me,” mentions Nawaz. She refers to "lawyers who have popped out from all over, offering to do pro bono work for they see the cause, they see where it’s going. It’s a massive social issue, a political issue, a human rights issue. It boils down to the kernel of good and bad, the eternal tussle in human existence” that is at the heart of all religions. While she is "ever grateful” to those who are offering to fight for her, not knowing how the legal case will meander and "what I’m up against, we will go for the best” — a team comprising criminal lawyers, litigators, well suited to the High Court and the Supreme Court. Legal fees, she has realized, are exorbitant, "as expensive as…” she tried to find a befitting simile and then ended with "nothing else on earth.”

Following the recent unfolding of events, Nawaz is disillusioned with "marriage as a sound institution to provide a happy, united home for children. Long gone are the days when partners tolerated each other’s bad behavior and obnoxiousness to keep family secrets within the house.” Such silence when "everyone is suffering only serves to enable abusers who use that as an umbrella for shelter and protection.” Nawaz has been happy to speak to the media and even post a video on social media of her being refused entry at the Raymond Diwali party in November. So too has Vijaypat who has spoken critically of Gautam’s ruthless behavior once the patriarch had transferred all the assets in the son’s name. Gautam though has chosen to make a press statement, "In the interest of my two beautiful daughters, I would like to maintain my family’s dignity and I will refrain from offering any comment.”

When women see other females in unhappy marital circumstances, Nawaz has noticed, "the first thought that comes to mind is ‘Thank God it’s not me; it’s someone else; it’s never going to be me.’ I hope for their sake they are right but life has a way of showing us otherwise.” Believing in the adage "Prevention is better than cure,” she realistically accepts that there may be times when you are not able to prevent, at such times having a cure is important.

To those choosing partners outside the Parsi community, she advises they wed under the Special Marriage Act "but far more importantly ensure you are financially independent. If there is no petrol in your tank, you ain’t going anywhere. You are never going to open your mouth.” She further advised, "Ensure your network of family, friends don’t fall by the wayside because of marriage. Don’t lose the forest for the trees.”

Being mindful

In her book too, in the chapter on "Mental Aging,” Nawaz has reinforced, "Social interaction has a profound positive effect on health and longevity, especially with reference to friends, more than family.” In "Spirituality and Aging” the reader is reminded to make time to appreciate Mother Nature’s creations as also "being mindful of ourselves and correcting ourselves along the way because whatever we send out to the universe, know that it is coming back to us.”

The writing of the book had been completed before the pandemic. She was initially deliberating on whether to launch it during the Covid years just as she had released Between Life and Death by the well-known oncologist Dr Kashyap Patel. Even the foreword to Nawaz’s book by Amruta Devendra Fadnavis was apparently written by the banker-actress-singer a while ago for she refers to the paperback as "Time Arrest,” the original title selected for the book. Once Nawaz was alerted that there is a line of beauty products selling in the same name, she and her publishers, Penguin Random House India, opted for Pause, Rewind to steer clear of any copyright issues.

While painting has absorbed Nawaz at different times and she has even had an exhibition of her works, during lockdown it became a shared activity with her two daughters who started on "a very big, ambitious piece.” Along the way the daughters lost interest in painting and it was Mama who was required to "just do the background… just do the trees… just do the boats.” Was the canvas finally completed? "I never start something that I don’t finish,” remarked the artist.

Painting, for Nawaz, commenced as a hobby after her elder daughter Niharika was born in 2005. She painted a lot of horses in the initial years that perhaps spurred Niharika’s interest in equestrian activities, competing in dressage events both nationally and internationally, the proud mother told Parsiana. Being confined to the bed during the first pregnancy and advised a high protein diet, she had perforce to eat Threptin biscuits which she felt "taste like dog food, and the only flavor that was half palatable was mango!” To her surprise, Niharika "can’t stand mangoes.”

The second pregnancy with Nisa in 2012 was "super-duper smooth except that I delivered five weeks early when I went into precipitous labor,” rushed to the gynecologist and gave birth at the clinic. That was the day Nawaz had invited several guests to dinner to celebrate the inauguration of their flagship showroom at JK House. Following the frenetic unfolding of the evening, when Gautam was informed that he had a second daughter, his response was "Thank God.” When Nawaz asked him the reason for his elation, he said, "My cars will be safe!” Although neither of the girls have yet shown an interest in his cars Nawaz mentioned that Nisa’s first word was neither the two-syllable Mama nor Papa but Lamborghini. "She actually said that. If you don’t believe me, you can check with their nurses or the house staff,” insisted Nawaz.

The joys and frustrations and ultimately the shift in priorities that helped get her life back in shape are related by the author in the chapter on "Pregnancy and Post-Partum Fitness.” Through her book’s 17 chapters, primarily addressing women, she repeatedly stresses on the correlation between fitness, nutrition and aging. The reader is advised to exercise independently rather than depend on the company of another person because the unavailability of that individual often then becomes a reason/excuse to opt out of the day’s activity. Leaning on the other person and using him/her as a crutch indicates "a lack of will power” and shows "I don’t have what it takes to do it by myself,” stated the fitness enthusiast. Just as we undertake our daily hygiene chores independently, exercise too should be worked into our individual routine, she insists, announcing her intentions to soon return to her gym which had not been possible after the alleged assault by Gautam in September had resulted in spinal injuries, hospitalization and use of walking aids, as reported in the city dailies.

"Like so many dichotomies in life, Parsis as a community live the longest in the country even though they have genetic issues” like G6PD deficiency, mitral valve and tricuspid valve prolapses, various lymphomas and diverticulitis, remarked the health conscious instructor. The Parsi clientele at Body Art, she has observed, "tend to have more ‘stick-to-itiveness,’ being disciplined, focused, aesthetically proud. We realized the importance of maintaining health, fitness, functionality, self esteem early in the game.”