“Retarded customs”

I was appalled though not entirely surprised by the offensive and racist tone of the letter "Retarded customs” from Dr Ruzva Keki Bhathena (Readers’ Forum, Parsiana, August 21, 2012) in response to the brilliant missive from young reader Delna Baliwala (Readers’ Forum, Parsiana, July 21, 2012) in which she has expertly exposed the hypocrisy and double standards in our community.

Baliwala has opened a can of worms and exposed those whose policies will bring about the destruction of the Parsi community in the near future. As reader Kersee Kabraji rightly states in his response to Baliwala (Readers’ Forum, Parsiana, August 21, 2012), it is orthodox people who always have closed minds.

Bhathena, in his blanket condemnation of children of mixed marriages, has brought in an example of religious obscurantism within the Jehovah Witnesses community. One fails to understand what the relevance of that appalling incident he narrates is to the issues under discussion except that he has inadvertently exposed how dangerous such obscurantism can be in any religious community, including among Parsi Zoroastrians.

However, it is Bhathena’s outburst of hatred in which he states: "When one gets married to a partner from another community and culture, it is inevitable that the grown-up offspring will periodically need to make compromises, and suffer” that is laughable in its irrationality.

I would like to state here that I am the "grown-up offspring” of an Indian Jewish (Bene-Israeli community) father and Parsi mother, as are my older sister and brother and I know I speak for all of us when I state that we are proud of our mixed heritage and we have never had to "make compromises” or suffer due to our parentage. On the contrary, it has exposed us to the heritage of both our parents’ communities and this has immeasurably enriched our lives.

Mahatma Gandhi had stated that marriages between different communities would bring the peoples of our varied nation closer together. He practiced what he preached by having one of his sons marry the daughter of legendary freedom fighter and Bharat Ratna awardee, C. Rajagopalachari. Their "grown-up offspring,” among them noted humanists Gopal Gandhi and Rajmohan Gandhi, are a great credit to their mixed parentage and to the nation.

Bhathena’s further comment that such parents will have "regrets” is also utter nonsense and totally devoid of any scientific or scholarly reasoning. In other words, he is speaking through his prejudice and is in fact talking through his hat.

GUL-FRAAZ (GULU) EZEKIEL

New Delhi

Two letters reacting to Delna Baliwala’s "Retarded customs” (Readers’ Forum, Parsiana, August 21, 2012) present two different viewpoints. Kersee Kabraji’s version on religion and religiosity (rituals and ceremonies) is based on solid reason, a convincing condemnation of orthodox views, especially when he mocks Homi Ranina with: "Ha, Ha, you must be joking Mr Ranina. The only people I have met in life with closed minds are orthodox people like you. And why should anyone come to meet you to discuss such matters?” What gutsy outspokenness from an aged gentleman!

Baliwala would do well to keep her innocent young mind from being poisoned by approaching only mature and balanced people who are averse to bigotry. Such persons will propound a universal truth: that a sincere, hard-working, honest and decent individual who is faithful to his spouse in the tradition of all right thinking men, a man who will accept matrimony as a bond for a lifelong relationship, would be the right one.

All told, Baliwala has made many valuable, effective points where the learned Ranina would find his legal acumen put to the test, only to try one way or the other to make an illogical rebuttal to wriggle out of hypocritical attitudes and painful predicaments. How right she is to say: "As far as I have known, values in the child mainly come from the mother.” Will Ranina let us know how many judgments he knows of where the custody of a minor girl has been given to the divorced Zoroastrian father, excluding those cases when the court is convinced of defects — monetary, anatomical or moral — which would endanger the child’s future?

Baliwala is totally justified in feeling incensed when she asks: "Are people who follow other religions not human beings? Have we Parsis landed on earth directly from heaven?”

RASHID G. KHOSRAVI