“Big brother is…”

"Big Brother is watching you…” (Editorial Viewpoint, Parsiana, July 21, 2009) is spot on! One hoped the new team of Bombay Parsi Punchayet (BPP) trustees would at least act rationally even though one knew most of them had orthodox views. But it turned out to be wishful thinking.

Unfortunately the diktat against two of our priests, Ervads Khushroo Madon and Framroze Mirza, virtually excommunicating them, has left many of us with a heavy heart. Did these priests go to the tribal belt of India and convert people? For that matter, did they propagate conversion at all? Time and again I have vociferously said let no ruvan (soul of the departed) be deprived of prayers. If one can initiate a Parsi father’s child into our dharam (religion), then why not a Parsi mother’s child? If the conscience of some priests does not allow them to do so we respect that, but here are two learned men who don’t mind performing the rituals, so what is the BPP’s problem? The priests are not going to start a precedent just by doing so, and if they did, it’s a clear indication that the community wants change. Besides, in matters of religion why should the BPP trustees call the shots?

In Baroda we have nine young initiated priests who have become navars/maratabs and help out in the agiary during muktad time. Ask any of them if they wish to head a panthak some day, with attractive perks and a very handsome package deal, and the answer is a flat no. It’s not because of the money alone. The strict and at times very forbidding rituals and a tough life, a thankless job without friends and a social life, are of little interest to Gen Next.

We do not wish to make any progressive changes in our rituals, reet and rivaj (traditions) that date back to the time we landed in Sanjan. Unfortunately we are stuck in a time warp, as it were. Which youngster will wish to lead such a life? How long will the old panthaks with doddering priests survive? The trustees need to immediately address this problem and introduce subtle changes urgently or else the day is not far when there will be no one to tend to our places of worship, and worse still, no priests to take care of them…

Instead of meddling in the priests’ religious work the BPP trustees should strengthen the weakening foundation of our religious beliefs by gracefully accepting change. If they fail to do this it will be a very sad day for all.

RODA D. HAKIM

Baroda

vadhakim@yahoo.com

Bill Haley and the Comets sang Shake, Rattle and Roll. I was stirred, shaken, rattled and rolled on reading "Big Brother is watching you…” (Editorial Viewpoint, Parsiana, July 21, 2009). Though the arguments are very cogent (Parsiana’s speciality) quite a lot went over my head because of the legalese and moralese sprinkled in it.

To me, an ignoramus and char chopdi (fourth standard pass) this fatwa is nothing but nagara maa titori no avaj varas vechiya (making a fool of oneself by pretending to be more important than one is). It is similar to the new law introduced by the Maharashtra government whereby liquor permit holders cannot stock more than eight bottles. The whole world knows that no shop asks to see a liquor permit, it will sell any amount and not give a bill. Soon we will have elections in the state and all political parties, including the Congress, will supply liquor to the electorate so hooch will flow by the gallon, not by the bottle. The fatwa against two priests, Ervads Khushroo Madon and Framroze Mirza will meet the same fate.

Should these priests take the trustees to court? Certainly not! It would be a waste of time, money and energy. With lakhs of cases pending, by the time their matter is heard none of the parties concerned will be around.

I went to see an advocate friend and a distant relative. He wasn’t happy to see me for he immediately asked: "Well, well what brings you here? Do you want anticipatory bail?” I said, "No, I am not a trustee, but I want your opinion on a matter of religion.” "Oh, since when have you become bhannar gannar (pious and religious)?” he enquired. I shot back with "Do you mean to say that all those priests and others who pray are religious and pious... Are you aware that there is a season of fatwas in the Parsi community? A fatwa has been declared against two priests and another against Raos and Sukh­thankars entering agiaries even if they are Parsis. What are your views on this?” He was nonchalant, so I needled him, "Next there may be fatwas against Agas and Magols entering the agiary.” He was stirred into saying, "Let them try and I will put them in their place.” He threw a few sections of the CrPC (Criminal Procedure Code) at me and spoke about his constitutional rights. "I shall brook no interference. If some smart aleck tries any stunts I will file an FIR (first information report) and take him to court. It is my right to ask any priest to pray the Tandarosti for me in any agiary of my choice.”

I found succor and got confidence hearing this legal-eagle’s opinion, though something still rankled. On returning home I again picked up Parsiana and reread "Big Brother is watching you…” Then I ordered dhan dar, gharab nu achar and a pitcher of Cobra beer.

Suddenly my inner voice said, "Do you realize that even Garfield the cat in the comic strip is concerned about his age? What about you?” That hit me like a bullet from a terrorist’s AK-47. True, I am in the sunset of my life and have not spared a thought for the fact. It brought to mind the time I was teaching my son to ride a motorcycle on my 1973 model Jawa, at Worli Sea Face where I saw a plaque on a bench that read: "World is a market full of deeds./ Where death is a merchant one must meet./ If death was a thing which money could buy,/ The poor (read Behram) would never live, and/ The rich (read the colony Parsis with cooks, chauffeurs et al) would never die.”

For death the leveler, all are the same. The thought was depressing. I will have to leave behind all the blue, black, red labels, the pulav dar, aleti-paleti, sali boti, and what have you. I will have to make my exit at a moment’s notice, no Rent Act, statutory tenant or leave and license.

What should I do? The inner voice prompted: "Make your will.” Good idea. I will make my advocate relative the executor, ask him to draft my will, bequeath all my legha, sudreh and everything to my near and dear ones. That’s it.

The inner voice again said: "That’s just the beginning, old chap. What about your body?” Good question. I had never exercised my brain so much even during school examinations and to bring it under control I had to have a second helping of dhan dar, gharab nu achar and a pitcher of Cobra.

Should my body go to the dakhma? I pondered. What will happen to my Sancho Panza and Jeeves rolled into one, my Ramu, who is at my beck and call day and night, my chauffeur Apparao, Thomas my cook, Ansuya, my maid who looked after my two children? What about my non-Parsi relatives and friends with whom I have spent wonderful times laughing, eating, arguing? At the fag end will I have to treat them like untouchables, pariahs and not let them see my face because some priest came out with a fatwa which has no basis, logic or religious sanctity? Preposterous, appalling, repulsive and repressive thought. What if Mirza and Madon are not allowed to pray for me at Doongerwadi or at any agiary? How about burial or cremation? Not a bad idea, but where will Mirza and Madon pray for me with the fatwa in force?

How about donating my body to some hospital for the use of medical students? All over the world there is a shortage of bodies in hospitals for students to learn anatomy on them, and in a way it would also be an act of charity.

This mental exercise was becoming an unbearable strain. I had one Peach Melba and a triple sundae, poured myself a Crème de menthe and was thinking of having another when my eyes fell on the writing table where a thick book like thing was lying half hidden under some newspapers. It was Parsiana’s Parsi New Year edition.

I dropped the idea of the second Crème de menthe, listened to some music and went to sleep for I believe God is within me and not in any dakhma or agiary.

BEHRAM AGA

behram_r_aga@yahoo.co.in