“Who wins?”

In your "Editorial Viewpoint” titled "Who wins?” (Parsiana, June 21, 2008) you have given a realistic picture of the existing scenario regarding the forthcoming Bombay Parsi Punchayet (BPP) elections. Most of those who jump into the fray will have their own axe to grind, not the interest of the community at large.

Cogent and valid arguments have been advanced as to why five of the sitting trustees should stand for elections. But this has a flip side too. New faces should come forward to shoulder the responsibilities of leadership of the community.

As for Alert Zoroastrians Association (AZA), in all probability they may put up proxy candidates to achieve their goals or hegemony, and support them from outside like the Left Front did till the other day with the Congress in Parliament.

Parsi elections are no different from political ones, fiercely fought with no holds barred. This time they will be contested with greater vigor and ferocity as all Parsis of the world form the electorate. The days of mandals (electoral colleges) and bundals (frauds) are over and every Parsi vote is valuable.

The World Alliance of Parsi Irani Zarthoshtis (WAPIZ), which has opposed this provision tooth and nail, is itself a "world” body. This needs some explaining. WAPIZ must also clarify whether they will disallow/discourage their own members not residing in Bombay from voting.

Voters should decide whether power will be used or abused, but can one foretell how the elected trustees will behave? It is rightly pointed out that the voters’ responsibility does not cease once elections are over. They need to be alert to monitor and appraise the trustees’ performance. Today the BPP has become the private preserve of a chosen few, a select, secret club where dogs may be allowed but Parsis may not. Since its functioning is not transparent, monitoring its performance will be well nigh impossible. For this, there must be open and fair interaction between the akabars and lay bawajis.

However, your editorial is silent about who will constitute the election commission and who will elect its members. Also, what will be the "code of conduct,” if any, for the candidates?

As per the present practice, procedure and tarikat, the child of a Parsi male is a Parsi, therefore a woman born to a Parsi male and married to a non-Parsi who has not converted to another religion is a Parsi. Will such a woman be allowed to register as a voter and cast her vote? Can she stand for election as a candidate? Some information or clarification is called for in this matter.

At the end of the day, Parsis will get the trustees they deserve. Let us keep our fingers crossed till we come to know that WAPIZ has developed cold feet, or got the boot from the Supreme Court. Thereafter, the grand Parsi circus will begin and we will know our fate.

BEHRAM AGA

behram_r_aga@yahoo.co.in

A few weeks ago, armed with two passport-size photographs and a 10-rupee note, I confidently stepped into the Bombay Parsi Punchayet (BPP) office to register myself as a voter for the forthcoming BPP elections. On seeing my surname, however, to my not unexpected exasperation, I was enjoined to sign an affidavit on a Rs 100 stamped paper stating that I was still a true Parsi Zoroastrian.

I left the BPP premises in a rather sober and reflective mood, and in Alice in Wonderland fashion started introspecting about my eligibility as a Parsi Zoroastrian. Am I a Parsi Zoroastrian or am I not? I wondered. But before going deeper into this question, another thought quite inconveniently popped up to confuse and confound me still further.

Can one define a Parsi Zoroastrian? Like Arjun in the Bhagwad Gita, I was quite perplexed and longed for a straightforward answer from the Lord. What marks a person as a Parsi Zoroastrian? How does he speak, sit and walk? How does he think and act?

"Well, that shouldn’t prove difficult,” I reasoned with myself. "Aren’t I born into the Parsi Zoroastrian fold?”

All around me are Parsis who, with great adroitness pray devoutly and sincerely to the great Hindu god Ganesha on Tuesdays; to the gentle fakir, Sai Baba on Thursdays; and to the Virgin Mary on Wednesdays. All around me I find Zoroastrians who, like true ex-subjects of our former colonial masters, the British, fervently espouse a variety of Christian cults, from the esoteric to the mainstream and celebrate Christmas with the zeal of unbaptized converts.

There are others who devoutly perform all our complex religious ceremonies and customs without an iota of laxness but think it a waste of time to understand what our Prophet is preaching. There is no need to understand. All one needs is faith and fervor. I have often been criticized for trying to persuade some of my co-religionists to read Yasna 30.2 of the Ahunavaiti Gatha out of season. To "weigh” the teachings of our Prophet "with illumined minds” doesn’t seem to be a criterion for being a Parsi Zoroastrian. The Gathas, the words of Zarathushtra, are to be recited, without understanding, only during the muktad and funeral ceremonies. And the paidust has become more of a social gathering with ladies discreetly gossiping throughout the recitation of the Ahunavaiti Gatha.

Does this mean that a good Zoroastrian must remain ignorant of the Prophet’s philosophy and rejoice in his ignorance? Oh no! That is a harsh and unjust judgment.

A true Parsi Zoroastrian is generous to a fault. He embraces the culture of his adopted land with respect and sincerity and is admired and lovingly tolerated by the host community. But then, alas, he exhibits a streak of insane bigotry, branding as parjaat (outsider) all who do not fit his very subjective definition of a Parsi Zoroastrian.

I had to shake myself out of this reverie, which was leading me nowhere, and then, Eureka, I had it!

A true Parsi Zoroastrian is a true Indian. He has adopted, adapted, borrowed and internalized many of the customs and traditions of India without discarding the faith of his forefathers.

But, but, but… I tried to vigorously shake off these rather blasphemous thoughts… That’s truly another story.

"Honestly,” I thought to myself rather bemusedly, "Would producing a marriage certificate really prove that I am still a true Parsi Zoroastrian and entitle me to a vote under the new scheme of universal adult franchise?”

ABAN MUKHERJI

abanaban@rediffmail.com

Now that the elections of the BPP trustees are near I am sending you the manifesto of an ideal candidate, a good friend of mine.

"My fellow Parsis,

"I’m standing as a candidate in the forthcoming election of the Bombay Parsi Punchayet (BPP) trustees. I do not wish to talk about my myriad achievements. I only want to tell you about the things I will do for the Parsi community if I’m elected.

"Housing: I will provide every Parsi family with a nice big flat in the existing baugs. I intend to demolish all the existing old buildings in all the baugs and replace them with 100-storey skyscrapers. The first 10 floors will be for parking. The next 10 floors will be a shopping mall. You won’t even have to leave your building to go shopping. Every building will also have a multiplex cinema, spa, many five-star restaurants, entertainment center, etc. Every flat will be of at least 3,000 square feet with an attached swimming pool. A clubhouse with a garden, children’s park and a sports field will be there in every building. On the top of every building there will be a helipad.

"Children: I want to encourage Parsi couples to have more children. Therefore, I will do the following. On the birth of the first child, Rs 10,000 a month will be given to the parents for the upkeep of the child. On the birth of the second child, Rs 20,000 a month will be given. On the birth of the third child Rs 30,000 a month will be given. So on and so forth. If a couple has six children, they will get Rs 2,10,000 a month (Rs 10,000+20,000+30,000+40,000+ 50,000+60,000).

"Education: The BPP will meet the entire education expenses of every Parsi child, from nursery school to postgra­duation and even professional courses. Because in today’s "Quota Raj” it is difficult for Parsis in India to get admission into medical and engineering colleges, they will be sent to colleges in UK and USA to become doctors and engineers.

"Vacations: Every family should go on a vacation every year. The BPP will buy bungalows at hill stations and other vacation spots all over the world. They will also have contracts with seven-star hotels so that for a few days the poor Parsis can live like the super rich Parsis. Free transportation, boarding and lodging will be provided for all Parsi families. Cruise liners will be leased for those who want to take a round-the-world trip.

"Religion: ‘No mobeds, no religion’ is a well-known saying among the Parsis. All practising and retired priests will be given Rs 1,00,000 a month by the BPP. Free accommodation, a free car and free fuel will also be provided to each and every priest. Once a year they will be sent abroad to educate and enlighten Parsis living in other countries. Even today, when religious scholars travel abroad for giving lectures, they are provided first class airline tickets and stay in five-star hotels. The same facility will be provided to our priests when they go abroad.

"Business: Every Parsi who wishes to start a business will be given a sufficient amount of capital to start and run his business. I want hundreds of Parsis to start businesses and provide employment to thousands of their fellow Parsis. Of course, they will be required to give fat salaries to their employees. Naturally, such businessmen financed by BPP will have to give a part of their profits to BPP so that it can help poor Parsis.

"If you have any other ideas which you wish me to implement, please let me know and I’ll do my best to implement them.

"In the service of the Parsi community, I am your most humble servant,

"Bejonji Bawa”

JAL S. DESAI

jaldesai@hotmail.com