“Who decides?”

The editorial "Who decides?” (Parsiana, September 7, 2006) is very explicit and has brought out the issue in its proper perspective. A trend has set in where we are washing our dirty linen in public. No more are matters of the community restricted to the community itself. Had it not been for Dhun Baria then it would have been someone else who would have brought this matter to light. One must realize in today’s day and time sensitive issues need to be addressed; not brushed under the carpet. Baria is being thrashed for her guts and gumption to go public on an issue that is spoken behind closed doors even in Parsi homes. I take strong objection to derogatively calling her ‘the qawwali singer.’ Would any one dare call Zubin Mehta a band master?

Beside the usual assault against Baria which I found very objectionable, none other than a man of the caliber of Noshir Dadrawala says on e-mail "…go ahead and consign your dead to thousands of maggots in the graveyard…” He should have known that those consigned to the grave have been buried with full reet and rivaj (tradition) befitting a Parsi ruvan (soul) in aramgahs all over the country and abroad too, since centuries. Could Baria on her own have scaled the heights of the dakhmas and taken those pictures herself?

How long do you expect the nassessalars to go on doing this job of pallbearers wherein they are witness to sights and smells unimaginable? What happens when these men one fine day refuse to oblige? Other anjumans use the family members of the deceased as pallbearers. Is Bombay geared for the same? Not all old customs can be carried on from generation to generation. To give one example, you rarely find a Parsi lady now on a dholki (cot) totally isolated during her menstrual days. Well the change is there, so why not accept it in other areas?

I do not say do away with the dakhme­nashini system. Let it be there for those who wish it, and let there be a choice for us all. Whether a person is buried, cremated or consigned to the dakhma, let prayers be said for every soul.

RODA D. HAKIM

Baroda