Accept the inevitable

The figures are ominous. In 2017 for the first time Parsi marriages have fallen below 100. And the interfaith marriage percentage has crossed 44 for the second time. The first time was in 2008, a leap year which many Parsis consider inauspicious. In other leap years also the interfaith figure tended to spurt. But this does not explain the upward spiral in 2017, a non-leap year.

Maybe other forces are at play. As the population decreases, the pool of compatible spouses shrinks and individuals look outside of their community. In Calcutta which has a Parsi population of around 450, the interfaith marriage rate is around 80%. As Prof Lata Narayan notes in her book The World of Indian Parsi Youth, part of a four-volume series published in 2017 under the auspices of the Tata Institute of Social Sciences (TISS), "In the other cities where the Parsi population is very small, it is possible that the youth may not find partners within the community …Nearly all Parsi youth said they would like to marry a Parsi but if they do not find a suitable partner, then they would consider marrying outside the community. The perception is no longer that they will remain unmarried."

At one time navjotes and weddings provided a meeting ground for singles. But these opportunities are diminishing. The number of functions held in the popular venues of the Jeejeebhoy Agiary complex in Colaba and Allbless Baug at Charni Road is around 80 per year for each. At one time the baugs were booked throughout the year, barring the mon­soon months. Even those present at events are fewer as the community numbers continue to decline and hosts and guests are more selective in issuing and accepting invites.

When Parsiana started collecting and collating the interfaith marriage statistics around 1988, the outmarriage figure for Parsis was around 14%. In 30 years the interfaith percentage figure has more than tripled. While there have been ups and downs, the overall trend is up. [Incidentally in contrast the all-India figure for Indians marrying outside their community was 1.6% in 1981 and 2.7% in 2005 (S. Goli, D. Singh and T. V. Sekhe, 2013, "Exploring the Myth of Mixed Marriages: Evidence from a Nationwide Survey," cited by Narayan in her book)].

The Bombay Parsis are an urbanized, westernized community and therefore more exposed to liberal ideas and values. Notes Narayan: "Considering that Bombay has the largest Parsi population, it is ironical that the highest percentage of youth here feels that they may marry outside the community, when they had more opportunities to look for a spouse within the community."

Unfortunately we do not have any statistics on the interfaith marriage ratios in the south Gujarat towns. Sadly none of the local anjumans appear to be collecting any statistics.

In Bombay, aside from Parsiana, neither the Bombay Parsi Punchayet nor any other trust/research institution compiles this data. When Parsiana first presented marriage statistics collected from the Bombay High Court where Parsi marriages are registered and the offices of the Registrar of Marriages where civil marriages are registered, there was an uproar. People alleged we were legitimizing and encouraging interfaith marriages. We had broken a taboo by publishing about an unspoken and sensitive subject.

But if the leaders and those who elect them are not informed of the facts, how are they to decide on policies? Should we liberalize, as did the Parsi-only schools of yesterday and turn cosmopolitan? Or like Valsad, victimize those who defy tradition? Should our housing colonies, ceremonial baugs, clubs, hospitals and agiaries be inclusive and accept the spouses and the children of Parsi women married to non-Parsis or continue with depleted numbers and low footfalls?

Overseas Zoroastrian associations, especially in North America, admit the non-Parsi spouses and their children as full-fledged members. North America and Iran accept women as mobedyars. Even the conservative Zoroastrian Trust Funds of Europe admits as members the children of Parsi women married outside the faith. The Karachi and Delhi anjumans permit the children entry to the fire temples. Iran allows all to enter, as does the Poona based Asha Vahishta The Zoroastrian Centre.

So will the 44% interfaith statistic alter the leadership’s approach? According to TISS researchers Drs (Profs) Armaity Desai and Shalini Bharat (The Indian Parsis: Themes Old and New), "A major challenge when researching the Parsis was the community leadership’s acceptance of some of the data and findings. Hence, validity of specific data collected is questioned and may not be accepted as reliable, and there are those who go as far as to deny the quantitative facts in order to present the community in a positive light."

But already court cases filed by Parsi women are publicly showing the community as being regressive and sexist. Prochy Mehta and her daughter Sanaya Mehta Vyas have asked the Calcutta High Court to examine the local fire temple’s trust deed to see who is permitted to enter in light of today’s laws and the Indian Constitution. But legal matters take years to resolve. Goolrookh Gupta has been battling the Valsad Parsi Anjumam for the past 10 years over their ban on Parsi women married to non-Parsis entering the local fire temple and Doongerwadi in the south Gujarat city. The case is expected to be heard by a five-member bench of the Supreme Court in a month or two.

The myth that more women than men marry outside the community is also countered by the statistics. The 2017 figures show 43 males marrying non-Parsis as versus 33 women. Over a five-year period from 2013 to 2017, 230 (57%) men have married outside the faith as versus 175 women (43%).

If the courts rule in favor of the women or against, will the interfaith percentage rise or fall? That is to be seen. But even with the bans and biases in place, Parsis have defiantly married outside the community in larger percentages than before. Instead of fighting the inevitable, the community’s energies would be better directed in integrating these families, not ostracizing them.