Parsi dhongidox

How thoughtful of Parsiana in these troublous times to provide much needed entertainment from its standby jester on the subjects of ancient history (concocted on the hoof!) to propel his racist rants, on half-Parsis, and on bogus world organizations. In common, we now have cheap-jack remarks from so-called ervads and self-proclaimed scholars: in both cases they peddle shoddy goods long past their shelf life. As the late Dastur Hormazdiyar Mirza was wont to say in these matters, "All foolings!”

Let us firstly disabuse the ervad of his racial purity. Darius the king was not Parsi as we understand the term today, but the kingly descendant from the dominant Persian clans. More importantly, the remote ancestors of the Magian priesthood were not Persians (Parsi!) but from a Median tribe. The great king dealt with the upstart Magus Gaumata by wiping out that rebel and his followers; he even provided an illustration of the event leading to the massacre. Bogus history?

The same ervad’s odious remarks on half-Parsis, clearly intended to give gratuitous offence, deserve only the following: we would sooner keep the company of a half-Parsi (the other half being thoroughly human!) with full brain than a pukka (true) Parsi with half-a-one or none at all; whom we marry is none of the so-called ervad’s business.

When self-perception descends to self-delusion, and creeping paranoia into full-blown paranoid xenophobia, then we see the emergence of such low-grade insults on alto faltoos (riffraff) from ranters with frequent need to remind skeptical audiences of their scholarly status. One such has failed to realize that his maro-golis (to hell with them) have misfired and even ricocheted. What is noteworthy is his innovative use of fire — it is to set light to the living (live roasts!). It would effectively annul the objections of the anti-cremationists, and at the same time account for our missing Parsi numbers. How ingenious! And as for doing sahebji-salaams (salutations) it comically smacks of desperation, for these pukka serial opportunists have abjectly failed to convince the intelligentsia in India and overseas and now must resort to cheap gibes and roughhouse antics to maintain some credibility among the diminishing ranks of the gullible.

Reading straight from the editorial comments we note that the new Parsi-panu will be founded on suppression of dialog and discussion on issues dealing with the unified calendar, intermarriage, and doubtless all else which does not conform to its agenda. When that does not succeed, the dhongidox will resort to blocking all progressive moves towards ameliorating the acute housing situation, etc, and for good measure stopping charitable donations which do not meet with their approval. How altruistic! Truly it has been said of the dhongidox, "When arguments fail, abuses prevail!”

Interesting too should be a best-seller publication among the pokkals (hollow individuals) of a fully color illustrated directory of alto-faltoos for their racist gratification. Perhaps a suitable sub-title would be "A Guide to non-pukka Undesirables!” From amidst all this inanity one is brought into the light of sanity with extracts published ("Triumphant in Thana,” Parsiana, February 2005) from the Thana Anjuman. Rarely do we nowadays see such models of dignity, decorum and restraint. The petulant addressee, however, will not stay ignored, but surely proceed to foment further unrest there and elsewhere. Ahmedabad, December 2004 was only a foretaste; perhaps the nearing London Congress — truly a corroboree! — will be the next flashpoint.

FARROKH VAJIFDAR

London, UK